Luke, where them hoes at? Not with us, I’ll tell you that much. I’m not going to front about this subject. Some mooks have a hard time keeping female company around. Every other Friday, we sit in Nesar’s living room, 20 deep, chain smoking blunts and getting twisted on the devil’s elixir. We have the infamous Jesus Rice YouTube playlist, playing on the flat screen with classics such as Wanna Be A Baller, King’s Protège Le Ghetto, Little Indian Break Dancing and Para Mis Soldados on repeat since 2007. Our conversation topics include insightful subjects such as: vandalism, rap talk, “back in the days”, tons of outlandish speculations and derogatory anecdotes involving the few unfortunate women who gave it up. Then we take this mess to a bar where we terrorize innocent citizens with our grotesque demeanor and aggressively unpleasant presence. Well, what do you know? Nobody got any this week either. Surprise, surprise. I wonder why? Now it’s 4 AM, these mooks are sexually frustrated and over-intoxicated. Some deal with the malaise by doing coke, starting fights and breaking things. Others prefer to stuff their face with food or walk home, bombing along the way. Whatever the method might be, one thing is certain: most end up at home clicking through endless videos on PornHub. Truth is, these girls just can’t handle the realness.
Whatever, man. A mook is going to be a mook. I always wonder what they do when us mooks are not around?
Many good nights start with a spliff. It ain’t a real chilling until someone burns one.
There is something about girls and cellphones. They seem to have completely replaced imagination and eliminated the effort of keeping up a decent conversation. As soon as there is a silence or an awkward moment, the attention is right away thrown entirely onto the phone. Did someone “like” my new status on FB? I only checked less than 69 seconds ago.
HAHAHA… Richard Lewis is hilarious! He just tweeted: “Lots of people fake orgasms but I fake serenity”. What a genius…
They sure do look a lot more elegant smoking drugs than we do. Look at the heart shaped smoke circle. Thats some Alice In Wonderland type of shit.
OMG, LOL! Artemis Pebdani is sooo funny, guys. Look at what she tweeted: “Kegels aren’t just for post-natal moms and queers”…
LOL! So true. I’m going to re-tweet that.
Still no “likes” on the new status. Try in 4 seconds. Maybe then.
Paaaaacoooo. We love you Paco, you fat son of a bitch.
Did you ever notice that girls pee a lot more often than men? Why is that? I don’t know. But here is a non-offensive joke:
What is the difference between: a girl in a church, and a girl in a bathroom?
A girl in a church has a soul full of hope, and a girl in a bathroom has a hole full of soap!
The best way to find out what’s on a girl’s mind is to give her a marker, some papers and some vodka.
Yes, yes. I see where this is going. No homo.
Some next-level stoner shit. Cock turned dog turned cat. Whadayaknow?
Pause.
As far as I can see, ain’t much different from our chillings. Junk food, booze, weed, a gang of shit talking… Just replace the YouTube playlist by cellphones, the handstyles by funny drawings of cocks and it’s essentially the same shit as we do.
Shit, they even have a huge porn collection. Bigger then my boy Atlas’.
OMG!!! “Rocco’s POV 3″!!!
Clapping in excitement.
Make sure to check your FB status situation 10 times in a row before you can finally let it rest for two minutes, so that you can enjoy this new Rocco joint.
Pop it in, girl!
Hmm, interesting…
Oh look, two more people just “liked” my new profile picture.
Sweet.
I always imagined it going down like this… but I did not expect it to be true. I always thought that they just talked about knitting, unicorns, kittens, cookie recipes and things of that nature. Another stereotype I need to throw out the window. Maybe I should stop making all those vulgar sexist jokes as well. I noticed that they don’t like that very much. They’re so complicated, like doing taxes. Difference is, you spend your whole life trying to do these girls and most of your life trying to avoid doing your taxes. At the end of the day, you’re getting fucked, one way or another.
This is the first of many from the “When Mooks Are Not Around” series. We shall explore deeper into these matters and thoroughly document the process along the way. Many subjects to address and questions to be answered.
December 8th, 2011 at 12:39 pm
holy fuck this is gold…..u hit this one spot on HTO….damn i need to get laid
December 8th, 2011 at 1:44 pm
iv always wanted to be a fly on the wall of these kind of girls private life. finally some of my questions have been answered.
that girl with the heart shaped smoke ring….that was some magic hot girl swaggery!!!! amazing post~!
December 8th, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Getting laid shouldnt be harder than getting away with murder !(years of bombing)
step that mook life game up!
December 8th, 2011 at 3:27 pm
my cellphone is only good for finding weed.
no cellphone=no drama
December 8th, 2011 at 4:00 pm
Slang on the celly till my verbal is decoded…
December 8th, 2011 at 4:30 pm
“They’re so complicated, like doing taxes. Difference is, you spend your whole life trying to do these girls and most of your life trying to avoid doing your taxes.” — fuckin gold!
always keeping it original with the content. big ups mook life for documenting this shit, looking forward to more!
December 8th, 2011 at 4:58 pm
this whole article is bullshit. girls don’t hang around in their fuckin panties or topless…it’s so obviously staged…they’re just doin that cuz there’s a camera around. what you mooks doin hangin out with 13-year old girls in their panties anyways? that’s some pedo creeper shit, straight up!
December 8th, 2011 at 5:04 pm
Idiot, this was obviously staged and sarcastic…these girls are all in their 20s, you frustrated ass mook. Go get some pussy.
December 8th, 2011 at 5:16 pm
i respect mook life cuz (usually) you post real shit…so when you put fake staged shit up of course i’m gonna notice and think it’s wack. i’m a girl you homo. bring back the realness. peace.
December 8th, 2011 at 5:21 pm
You mad? Only girls would complain about this post. If you want, we can do a photo shoot with you in it for the next one. It can be real as fuck.
December 8th, 2011 at 5:27 pm
Oh, shemad cause they stylin on her
December 8th, 2011 at 5:35 pm
i’m not mad, i’m disappointed. when i check out mook life, i expect real shit. this shit ain’t real, so i’m disappointed. it’s like when you’re about to have sex with a dude but then you find out he’s got a small dick. disappointment…ya know?
December 8th, 2011 at 5:43 pm
Holler at me then, I can guarantee you won’t be “disappointed” any more. The last thing you’ll be worrying about is why dudes might want to take, or look at photos of hot girls. You’ll be mad relaxed and shit, might need to take a nap after and I’ll even share some of my weed if you don’t wear one of those bras that are hard to take off. I hate that shit.
December 8th, 2011 at 5:44 pm
^^ somebodys ass is flat…..
December 8th, 2011 at 5:46 pm
PS: how can you say it aint real, when only real talk was generated. Jealousy killed the cat.
December 8th, 2011 at 5:48 pm
Shhhhhhh, c’mon man, I think she likes me.
December 8th, 2011 at 6:04 pm
@Mercer: damn, you’re all fuckin romantic and shit. aight so how we gonna do this? ayo, most bras are the fuckin same tho, if you got problems takin one off you gotta step your bra game up son!
@Mooksy Collins: my ass is pretty fuckin fly for real bro. dudes are always tryin to touch it and shit so i gotta move quick
December 8th, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Booty number 4 is looking plump and delicious.
December 8th, 2011 at 6:17 pm
if the photos weren’t staged, i would appreciate that shit. it’s not about jealousy, it’s about being real. regardless of the comments on the article, the photos are still staged. keep it fucking real yo! and stop cock blockin your boy Mercer…bros before hoes!
December 8th, 2011 at 6:32 pm
You come off as a woman who wants to participate. Send us your flicks and we can talk about doing a post. 100% real. You will have 100% creative control over the post… be my guest.
December 8th, 2011 at 7:31 pm
Send them nudes to me first, mercer2789 at gmail d•t com, make sure to include your phone number and I’ll scoop you up at the NYC greyhound terminal. I’ll give you a romantic tour of NYC as I drive straight to Queens and point out the window at shit. We’ll get some take out and come back to the crib and get freaky. I like smearing Generl Tso’s chicken and pepper spray all over my beard and chest hair before I get down.
Also, in my experience not all bras unhook the same. Especially the expensive ones girls tend to wear when when it’s time to get smashed out. Those come with a million different types of hooks and shit. I have no time for that fancy shit. Most of those might as well be pad locks on the titties. I normally don’t want to fuck up my flow playing titty Houdini and shit so I don’t even bother unlocking them, if I need some nipple action I’ll just flip the cups up and play it off like I meant to do that. The only ones I’m smooth with are the cheap joints with that thing you fold over then slide apart. Personal advice to ladies that want to drive their special mook crazy, get the panties and bras with the bows that you can untie like a shoe lace, I fucking love those bows and can’t focus on anything else if I know a girl has that shit on.
December 8th, 2011 at 7:39 pm
Cool story bro.
December 8th, 2011 at 7:44 pm
I’d tap that
December 8th, 2011 at 7:55 pm
I Thought this was a great post….Lol…for all those that took this sh*t too serious…you need to friggin take a Chill Pill. Whatever obvious there may be in this article…This is a wakeup call to enlightened yourself….
Entertainment has its place in the world and most certainly Girl talk goes way further than we can possibly think…I for one enjoyed this post, had a good laugh and makes you think on what goes on during those girl meets.
There are all sorts of girls out there and most of them won’t necessarily deliver the goods like they did on this post more so with sex being overkilled on the net.
Thx !
December 8th, 2011 at 7:56 pm
your mom….do a post….we some insight into the life of a mook girl….word
December 8th, 2011 at 7:58 pm
^^we need*….im drunk
December 8th, 2011 at 8:03 pm
More of the blonde girl plz… pref full-frontal
December 8th, 2011 at 8:04 pm
thanks for the offer but yo straight up, you couldn’t handle this…i’m too fuckin real.
December 8th, 2011 at 8:14 pm
^^ @HTO
@Mercer: we gonna hit up 5 ptz and shit?
@Octopussy: of course you would, you’re a fuckin mook!
@ohayomook: what, you wanna see some mook girls gettin drunk, gettin stoned, taggin shit, partying & generally causing trouble?
December 8th, 2011 at 8:27 pm
Anything you want if you wear panties and bra with bows for me.
December 8th, 2011 at 8:54 pm
Everybody can pretend to be fuckin real over some comments, it’s the part of the internet bullshit… I could act like Mike fucking Tyson and you will have no proof if it’s real or not..
Even that, your mom could be a dude! hehe
December 8th, 2011 at 9:20 pm
Mercer guy is a fucking creeeeep.
I thought HTO silenced him with the cool story bro, but no, I scroll down and he’s still going
December 8th, 2011 at 9:44 pm
so much excitement in the air
PS: @yourmom theyre just trying to touch it cause it looks easy . Real women (read: “not” graff tomboys) keep men on point.
December 8th, 2011 at 11:10 pm
The comments on this one were as good as the article itself. Thanks to everyone at Mook Life for the entertainment. Keep the laughs coming!
December 8th, 2011 at 11:37 pm
united benetton would be proud of those pics with all of them laying there…and yo how you going watch porn without the sound…
December 9th, 2011 at 12:42 am
@weirdo: no way, Mercer’s all fuckin romantic and shit! didn’t you see he said he’s gonna pick me up from the bus station, take me for a car ride and point at things, feed me take out, share weed with me, undo my bra AND get freaky. all i have to do is email him nude photos! nothing creepy about that. if i’m lucky he might buy me a flower.
@M
December 9th, 2011 at 12:44 am
ah fuck
@Mooksy: you can’t keep a mook on point. a mook is a mook and always will be.
December 9th, 2011 at 1:41 am
Damn what a banging post! Some many gems in here, especialy that dart on chicks and cellphone, you couldn’t have said it better HTO!
Shit I can’t beleive this, I don’t know what I prefer, the post or the comments.
Mercer your hilarious, ah man your killing me, I can’t believe you got yourself a date with this mookette with an ass that she claims that we can’t handle. Hope all is well broseph!
Your Mom…You should definitely hook up with me instead, we can also exchange some nude pics, I’ve got a dozen of myself. I will take you around the city and the country. I will eat your pussy. Buy you flowers. Cook you some Octopus salad and fresh Salmon. Bring you to Killah Priest shows. Take LSD and watch discovery chanel. Go rock climbing. Sip sizurp and go bowling. And even lift you up the stairs on the way to the bedroom!
December 9th, 2011 at 2:40 am
hahaha…my vote goes for Killah Ef…thats how you treat a lady…willing to go down on you and cook you some octopus…the dude really loves fish
December 9th, 2011 at 3:23 am
oh shit, mook love triangle! this is getting interesting…
@Killah-EF: it’s cool i don’t want nude pics bro. i’m sure your dick flicks look good and everything…you probably took them from all kinds of different angles to make your dick look all huge and shit.
hmmm, eat my pussy? damn, hard to say no to that shit nahmean? it’d be like a dude turning down a blow job…it’s just not polite. what kind of flowers? i’m particular. salmon sounds good but i dunno about octopus salad..i think that shit would freak me out. maybe we could put some fuckin bacon and chicken in the salad instead, that’d be dope. throw in some extra bacon if you really wanna impress me. i’m down with going to shows. i can party like a motherfucker. lsd is fun but yo i don’t wanna sit and watch tv when i’m trippin…we should go out, be ridiculous, maybe even wear some fucked up costumes and talk to strangers. we should film that shit though, for real. i dunno about rock climbing…it’s fuckin winter dude. let’s go painting instead. bowling’s alright…not too crazy about it though. sippin sizzurp and writin rhymes might be more fun. lift me up the stairs? damn, that’s some classy shit right there.
looks like Mercer might have to step his game up! he did say he’d take me to 5 ptz in Queens though, so I gotta give him credit for that even though it was my idea…
December 9th, 2011 at 4:35 am
Word to big bird for a couple hundreds you can buy a signal scrambler to cut off cellullar frequency in your appartment, next thing you know mookettes can’t use their freaking facebook every minute, as a bonus keep in mind she can’t call 911 either.
Cheers!
December 9th, 2011 at 11:41 am
Your name should be RAPE I.S.T with the knowledge you have.
December 9th, 2011 at 12:12 pm
lol HTO, his name is RAPIST!
December 9th, 2011 at 4:02 pm
its raining rape swag!
27. Beezlebub Said：
December 8th, 2011 at 8:03 pm
More of the blonde girl plz… pref full-frontal
December 9th, 2011 at 4:08 pm
@yourmom. Touchee. mooks will be mooks. glad your standards are so low
@ef : Carrying shorties up the stairway! thats fucking HD. im gonna steal that move. In fact i finna install a spiral staircase in my living room just to pull that shit off. super HD.
@mercer: just rip the damn bra apart already, lol.
@rapists: we appreciate your feedback.
December 9th, 2011 at 5:38 pm
Who knew mooks were such gentlemen, these comments are gold for real.
December 9th, 2011 at 5:51 pm
Whats more real than this? a mooks life is 70% boredom sitting around doing fuckall except color commentary on oldschool Nacho Vidal flicks with the occasional nugget of action getting raped for every ounce of pleasure it is worth, that is the mook life.
December 9th, 2011 at 5:55 pm
@KILLAH EF
yo son u need to get one of those old handicapped buses and a megaphone and do some tour guide shit.
December 9th, 2011 at 7:53 pm
your mom u in need of attention o what
December 9th, 2011 at 11:43 pm
Yo MERCER the vid was taken down due to haters. Can anyone recap it?
Also does anyone have a link to the anti-celly device?
December 10th, 2011 at 12:05 am
k i like how you take a pick of the asses from one side, then a pic of all of em from the other side, then a pic of each, then a pick of all ove em form the top them a pic of all of em from a different angle!! hahahaah you guys are too funny!!! hahaha
December 10th, 2011 at 2:21 am
Hands down probably the dopest post yet. Never knew females held it down like that yo. Mooked the fuck out post right here B.
December 11th, 2011 at 10:49 pm
@coins: daaaaaaaaaaaaamn not sure if you can recap that shit. sucks it got taken down, that video was hilarious! there was a skinny black dude in his apartment wearin nothin but 2 pairs of boxers and a bathroom robe or smokin jacket type of thing and he was rappin this hilarious song called Wettest in the Building & throwin $1 bills all over the place. plus there was porn playin on the tv in the background and dude’s puppy kept tryin to steal the show. the hook was “wet! wet! wet! she da wettest in the building”
dude’s name is Supa Day…here’s another track of his I found on youtube but it’s really not comparable to Wettest in the Building:
@Mr. Paoser: they don’t, dummy. they’re just doin that shit for the camera.
December 11th, 2011 at 10:51 pm
oh shit that didn’t work…
http://youtu.be/wfQTBRuCILo
December 12th, 2011 at 11:33 am
actually girls DO chill like that when we are not around. only they generally tend to keep their pants on. but if they are good enough friends and its a sleepover…
December 12th, 2011 at 2:49 pm
sorry but dem be sum busted lookin hoes y’all. and talk about flat asses
December 12th, 2011 at 3:53 pm
@junk1dj: yeah we chill, sit around & smoke weed & drink but we rarely sit around watchin porn and pretty much never chill in our underwear. we’re more like you guys…sittin around talkin about the guys we fuck, listening to hip hop & watchin hilarious youtube videos.
December 12th, 2011 at 4:48 pm
LOL Hamza, I hope you are being sarcastic. The closest thing to a woman I ever seen you with is that super effeminate Asian dude in your band.
December 12th, 2011 at 5:56 pm
the grown-up version of pillow fighting in our underwear?
December 15th, 2011 at 1:58 am
Yep, no half-naked lying on the floor, but that’s dudette chillin’ as I know it. Not with all girlfriends, though. Only the special ones. We watch freaky stuff, but not whole porn movies (who needs whole porn movies anyway?). Discovery Channel on LSD sounds like a rad idea, btw. And stoned bowling – long time no do, thanks for reminding me.
Also: I’m a pretty straight chick, but when I see buttocks like these, I admire them, have a close look at the shape of each one and imagine how my behind would look like if it was photographed from that angle.
Alas, a third thing to think about: we lie around complaining about not getting laid, too. Because there’s hardly a chilled dick without a pic of his own prick on his cell out there who knows what to say to a girl when all he wants is to get it on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hnErB0gJP0&feature=related
December 27th, 2011 at 5:01 am
LMAO my nikka mercer ODing! whatup mayne!
February 14th, 2012 at 11:50 pm
Comments in this post are pure gold!!! Shit almighty i cant wait for the next ‘when mooks arent around’ post ! Comments are going to drop lower than a jaw jabbed by young 80′s Mike Tyson!
April 29th, 2012 at 11:22 am
god bless the pics and the comments on this post. PS Lighten up you fuckin MoOkS.
PS. 300 to 1 odds that bitch “yourmom” is a fat 16yo nerd toy ass graffer.